why do bad things happen

today in our state, in a place ive visited many times, there was a slaying of innocent lives in an elementary school. among the victims, a child of 5 years old, the same age as my son. i read the news and had to hold back tears on my lunch break. the rest of the day i proceeded to appreciate every single moment with him with such joy. he had bjj practice, then we spent time browsing the isles of a thrift store, we then got dinner, got home and watched the unveiling of a flying car. all things that perhaps any other day i would have just taken for granted. or perhaps rushed through. but today i was so grateful to be able to pick up my son from school safely and enjoy the evening with him.

during bedtime i sat him down and prayed differently then how i usually pray with him. one of those types of prayers that i only do by myself in the solace of my room. i wept as i tried to fathom the pain that those parents are going through tonight, not tucking their children into bed. i shouted to my God to send down angels to always protect my son. i prayed and pleaded for peace and healing to those families in that community. Az has no idea of the events that happened today. tonight he just saw his dad have a powerful talk with our creator. he asked why i cried? i answered by saying that sometimes when i talk to God i cry. its actually often.. i said that it's just powerful that the creator of everything listens to us when we reach out to him. i hugged him tightly and said goodnight.

a question that i've wrestled with many times and that i often get asked when people ask me about my faith is "why does God allow bad things to happen". in scripture that's one of the first things that the disciples ask Jesus about a blind man. they ask "who is it that's sinned? his father? mother? himself? that has made him blind" Jesus says - thats the wrong question. For suffering is for the glory of God. its a tough answer to swallow. it basically is saying that we must endure suffering in order to appreciate the healing, redemption that comes from him. its a hard answer to accept and one that like i've said i toil in my mind.

God gave us free will, and although he can interject at any moment he often doesn't. he could have stopped that 16 year old boy but he didn't, why?..

this and like so many other tragedies, i think we're often left asking that question. for some it immediately means the rejection of faith. for others there's blind acceptance. i'm definitely closer to the latter but its hard, especially when the tragedy feels so palpable. when a victim is the same age as my son and i try and put myself in that father or mother's shoes.

i don't know why bad things happen.